What Happens When You Text the Guy Who's Nice to You Instead of the Guy Who Keeps Buying You Drinks to Get You Drunk
He is wearing a jacket that actually fits him. Sunglasses that suit his eye color, face shape, time of day and ambient light conditions. He is backfooted, even though he is not even French.
He answers questions simply, straightforwardly, with a slight smile. He shows neither too much commitment nor aloofness. You had just met him at a friend’s “I kept this pothos alive for 1 year ” plant non-death re-birthday party. You want to see him again, but you think there is no way that he could possibly want to see you again. He is a *philosopher,* but not in the abstract musings in a coffee shop sense, but in a, has read Plato’s Theaetetus sense.
You text that one guy, who kept buying you rum cokes at that bar. You like rum but you prefer straight Patron, or scotch, or a better kind of rum in a better kind of cocktail. He had a jacket too, but it was not memorable. He hasn’t really been texting you back, but you know he likes you because he buys you things. The things he buys you are alcohol. He tried using needing to take a piss as a pretext to go back to your place to hook up.
The guy with the not-so memorable jacket did not like the guy with the brown memorable jacket. This is because brown leather had gotten in the way of the pissing strategy. “There’s a bathroom over here” he had said. “Just go in the bushes, nobody will arrest you, don’t be shy.” I did not understand the meaning of these sentences at the time. I wavered around in the street as we walked, drunkenly, not understanding that pissing could be a strategy or a strategy to be thwarted. The pissing or not pissing was not significant to me, as I was very drunk. Brown leather wanted to keep unmemleatherabilia from coming back to my place.
Weeks later I was confused why the pissing strategy man seemed busy. When would we meet up again? Well he is traveling for work. He is doing some company that is supposed to be interesting in some way, and profitable in some other way if he keeps doing the good deed of traveling for work. He could not explain the company.
It was a third man, in a ripped, black, leather jacket, smoking a cigarette out of his car window, who had pointed out to me the difference between the pisser and the pissing-thwarter.
He had told me that one of these people kept buying me alcohol, said he needed to take a piss in my apartment, to hook up. One person tried to protect me from this person. The former person is not texting me back. The second person is merely not texting me yet. What if I try to text him right now? What if I try to text the person who is the better person?
I did text him, and he texted me back, and I am looking at this man now, in a different, well-fitting jacket, and a different pair of sunglasses that suit his eyes and his head shape, that he wears outside when the sun is bright to protect himself from the sun.