UltraMonogamy Book Day 7: Intersection of cucking and dom/sub dynamics
From the wikipedia of Venus in Furs
”The framing story concerns a man who dreams of speaking to Venus about love while she wears furs. The unnamed narrator tells his dreams to a friend, Severin, who tells him how to break himself of his fascination with cruel women by reading a manuscript, Memoirs of a Suprasensual Man.This manuscript tells of a man, Severin von Kusiemski, who is so infatuated with a woman, Wanda von Dunajew, that he asks to be her slave, and encourages her to treat him in progressively more degrading ways. At first Wanda does not understand or accede to the request, but after humouring Severin a bit she finds the advantages of the method to be interesting and enthusiastically embraces the idea, although at the same time she disdains Severin for allowing her to do so.
Severin describes his feelings during these experiences as suprasensuality. Severin and Wanda travel to Florence. Along the way, Severin takes the generic Russian servant’s name of “Gregor” and the role of Wanda’s servant. In Florence, Wanda treats him brutally as a servant, and recruits a trio of African women to dominate him.”
Today’s blogpost is about the intersection of the cucking concepts, and the dominance and submission. It will be a blogpost of examples.
If you’re monogamous, you generally still need to have a relationship to how your partner is going to interact with other people. When your man is at a party flirting with everyone, is that exciting to you, or threatening to you? Is it threatening to you in a way that is fun, such that you become jealous and come over and befriend the woman? Or is it threatening in a way that you ask to go home, but then your guy doesn’t mind leaving, and the leaving and his compliance feels good to you?
That’s one example in one area.
How about porn? When your partner watches porn, is it exciting, like she is exploring parts of herself, or does it feel like a challenge, like that you need to be having more sex with her?
I introduce these examples to introduce the idea that there are many “interfaces” that you can design around “your own thoughts about your partner with other people” that are still present in monogamous relationships. A difference in monogamous relationships is that the “interface” doesn’t include “is happy and allows the hooking up with other people in any capacity.”
I made a joke today, that was actually extremely sincere.
My own disposition in these manners is something like “monogamish,” but that’s a bit boring as a word.
I said the phrase “there are kinds of polyamory that can be seen as Ultramonogamy” today.
I would say I am ultramonogamous.
The idea is that the relationship is so important, that other relationships are in rank less important by comparison.
The poly people who are not into “hierarchy” would not like my concept of ultramonogamy.
The issue with ultramonogamy is the same as issues in other kinds of polyamory; the things that are “skill issues” actually are quite hard.
What else today. I am still quite sick, so this will be a short post.
I have found that one kind of polyamory that seems to work reasonably well for people is when the woman is the one who wants it, and really knows herself and her reasons for wanting it.
If the woman does not feel screwed over, or feels like she has set up a situation of tradeoffs that works well for her, this tends to be pretty good.
This can be confusing if a woman is subby. Some subby women are okay with their man doing whatever he wants, as long as she is taken care of by him. Having a super desirable man who takes care of her feels super good. This is not quite, but is somewhat like a harem model.
Some women like to think of her man as a sex god, and herself as a sex goddess, and they both need to practice their arts.
Some people just fall in love with someone, and do not think of how they are relating to the new person or their partner very much. They see themselves as a river of flow. I find that this can feel romantic but actually can lead to a lot of trouble and pain for every party.