I was talking to a buddy of mine about the different ways that men can propose and their ecological metaphysics, and the types of women who are game for that kind of proposal.
This almost feels haram to write about, but nobody else wrote today so I guess I need a post. Maybe there are more types that people can mention to me.
Proposing when he feels like it
This is a type that proposes whenever he feels a certain feeling. However he may also get divorced when he feels like it, or cheat when he feels like it.
The kind of women who are game for this are several types. Some are really excited that somebody actually commits, yay! After potentially a bunch of other relationships in which the man would not commit, this is a breath of fresh air.
Another type of woman thinks they can control a man like this. They see his tangles and loose ends and have their own plans for how they will pull those strings. This doesn’t usually end up going super well for them though.
Proposing when he feels it but the it is a crazy intense thing
This is a type of guy that, contrary to the previous type, never, ever, ever wants to be divorced, and longs to be married but would prefer to never be married than to ever be divorced.
These can come from any religion, and even be proudly agnostic or atheist.
Perhaps he will allow divorce if there is something like crazy abuse, but he is not really thinking about “loopholes” that would allow the divorce. To him, it would feel more like an annulment anyway, like the fundamental elements that made the marriage real were removed, rather than feeling like a divorce.
This guy divorces when he is “sure” about it, somewhere very deep in him. Unfortunately, these guys can wait a very long time for this “sure” feeling to settle, and even do things to unsettle it when it starts to get close. He can date someone for 10 years and be pretty sure that he will marry her, but not be completely sure, and unfortunately in year 4 she gets pretty fed up and leaves, and he either thinks “oh well I guess she wasn’t the one” or sometimes does go back and goes after her.
Proposing when doing so unlocks the next stage of the relationship
Sometimes a guy “unlocks” something by proposing. Perhaps she will break up with him unless he proposes. Perhaps they are fighting a lot and the woman says that they will fight less if he proposes. Perhaps she got a job offer and is going to take it, and he can propose and come with her or stay where he is. There is a version of this in which she plans to stay a virgin until marriage, and he is not sure about it but proposes because he wants to have sex with her to see if this is what he wants.
This category of guy proposes before he is fully 100% sure. He tends to get drunk and ask his friends what they think of his decision and collects pros and cons. He would rather not get a divorce, but does not consider it a grave sin if he does get a divorce. This is a practical man and he is willing to take steps and action to make things better, and does not like to feel like a weenie who is not willing to do the thing because he is scared.
I am sure there are more types!