Things I Learned from Interacting With People
People like hors-d’oeuvres. The difference in vibes between the hors-d’oeuvres existing and not existing is indeed big for people. You don’t have to overthink it. They don’t have to be super fancy. They don’t have to be super good. They just have to exist. What’s great about hors-d’oeuvres is there are some built-in catches to their failure modes that are already considered by the creator of the genre. Guests are coming at a moment’s notice? There are many frozen Trader Joe’s hors-d’oeuvres that you can pop into the oven or the air fryer. You don’t know the dietary needs of your guests? There are infinite gluten-free, vegetarian, and kosher options. You are poor? You can keep a jar of olives around, as well as a jar of pickles you like and other pickled vegetables, such as mushrooms or artichokes, and you probably already have some bread and cheese in the fridge. You also don’t need to put out *a lot* of hors-d-oeuvres to fulfill the “existing versus not existing criteria.” Having a special plate to commit to this bit is also a good idea, and you can get a special plate for cheap easily.
People like being offered and selecting a drink. I don’t know the psychology of this. People get thirsty and when they are at a place assume they will be able to at least get tap water. Having control and playing a game of choice around the specific way their thirst will be quenched seems to be exciting for people. Being offered something beyond this and having an option about its temperature, fizziness, sugar levels, and type makes people happy. This is easy enough to accommodate because non-alcoholic beverages are cheap and don’t take up much space. When I had a carpenter work on a house I used to manage, he was very happy to get cold cokes from me. When a group-airport-pickup-phone-in taxi driver charged me beyond what they said on the phone, and I didn’t have the cash, but then he had to drive all the way back to me because I’d forgotten my suitcase in the interaction — when he came back I still didn’t find the last $5 but had two beers I gave him and he was very happy with this.
People notice your coat. I don’t know why. Perhaps a coat is like a suit, in that it is long, can be very upscale, and shows off your body and figure in a cool way. There are also standard styles, as well as eccentric styles. I’ve noticed people like you more if you have a better coat. If you have a shabby coat, people notice. I grew up in a cold region, and so I considered the coat as purely functional. Is it warm? Can I add a scarf to it? Does it go down far enough to cover my waist? Is it too snug such that I cannot wear a thick sweater under it, and thus end up cold? Does it have pockets for gloves? Will it absorb or repel snow? I was sufficiently cold, wet, and spending time outside that these were my main considerations when I thought about coats. And then, if I am inside, can I take it off because it is now wet, and is whatever I am wearing underneath sufficiently warm to now be indoors? The concept of the fashion coat was alien to me. But the fashion coat is extremely important. You should always have a few coats that are “yours” that are uniquely you and that make you look extremely good.
Don’t leave stuff you wouldn’t be ok parting with at somebody’s house. They will say “sure we have some space.” But then they will move it, or be cleaning out their garage, or need you to pick it up at a random time, or themselves move, and likely lose it. Sometimes it works out for you and you can pick it up within a couple of months, but I have been surprised by how often the stuff gets lost, even when left with people who are basically responsible. People who are good at keeping track of their own stuff aren’t always good at tracking other people’s stuff.
If you try to get on a train without having a ticket, they might not let you on the train. If you have a ticket, but for a different train, they might not let you on the train. If you have a ticket for a bus and are trying to get on the train to the same destination. They might not let you on the train. Sometimes when you get on public transport, there is nobody there to check tickets and you might get away with it. But if there is somebody there to check tickets, they don’t really have an incentive to be nice to you over doing the one job they are there to do.
Rental cars will indeed charge you late fees for returning the car just a few minutes late. Not only will they charge you the late fees, but they will charge you surprisingly incorrectly calculated late fees. You can then go to customer service and contest the charge right away, and sometimes the whole thing is waived, including the original late fee. But don’t have hopes that you simply won’t have the late fee. You will have some sort of late fee.