The Secret Meetings that Must Have Happened
Three strange examples
I like coming up with games to play, like my game of finding aggressive ways to “practice humility” the way one would train in martial arts.
One game I play is I imagine meetings that must have happened.
Often there is not enough information to imagine the meetings. Sometimes there is.
Sometimes after I have imagined the meeting, I check to see if there are any records.
I would like to be better at this game.
*** This is a living document, so suggestions can be added with credit! ***
Toulouse Petit
This restaurant in Seattle, Toulouse Petit, serves wonderful New Orleans and cajun creole cuisine. It is also filled with candles.
There must have been at minimum three conversations with the luminary responsible that there was no way that a restaurant should be filled with this many candles.
I can imagine it going something like this:
“What do you mean it’s not possible? It would take few weeks to choose the right shelves and arrange them, and we would have to wait for turnaround, but it’s a straightforward project.”
“But you want the candles to be on…all the walls.”
“Yeah.”
“And you aren’t afraid of…fire?”
“Why would there be a fire?”
“Can’t you just use fake candles?”
“The flicker wouldn’t be right.”
“You aren’t worried about a patron knocking them over?”
“Do you generally see people at restaurants walking around knocking over candles?”
“No…but it could happen.”
“It’ll be fine.”
“The nouveau art and the replica bug-eating plant lamps are a pretty bold statement already.”
“The candles will accentuate everything. Fireflies everywhere! Flickering!”
The restaurant is incredibly beautiful, and the candles have indeed never caused trouble. The food and cocktails are superb as well.
Invasion of Afghanistan
I had imagined a meeting in which some US leaders looked at the terrain of Afghanistan and thought that there was no way that they could launch an occupation here, then for whatever reason overriding that decision.
Apparently this meeting did happen.
From a talk with Condoleeza Rice in 2021 at Stanford, I recount her saying something like:
“We flew over Afghanistan where were were supposed to build our bases. We looked at each other. We saw the terrain—all mountains and desert. ‘We cannot build our bases here.’ Then we said to each other, ‘We must build our bases here.’”
(I do not remember who the other portion of “we” was — potentially either Bush or Rumsfeld)
Shadow the Hedgehog
Shadow the Hedgehog came out in 2005 for the Gamecube to mixed reviews. I say it is an underrated masterpiece.
I spent 3 years not realizing it had come out because I was still working through Sonic Heroes, and then 17 years not playing it because I was scared that either it would not be good, or it would be so good that I would get addicted.
What a waste of 20 years. This game is amazing.
I can imagine a meeting in which the game designers and SEGA stakeholders were puzzling about what made Sonic Adventure 2 so popular.
Instead of concluding with some kind of BOLD SYNERGY, they can’t figure out what happened and implement a mishmash of their various hypotheses:
“People liked that you could play in Hero Mode OR Dark Mode. They liked choice. What if you make *every level* incorporate CHOICE?”
“That’s insane Paul. How would you make choice an element in each level?”
“Hear me out. So Shadow falls from sky and has amnesia. Different characters follow him around and tell him what to do, and you as the player get to choose who you listen to.”
“That’s insane Paul. How many story arcs do you propose then? 5?”
“I was imagining more like 320.”
“…”
“…”
“Ok. What do you think David?”
“I think we should give Shadow a gun.”
“What.”
“Yeah. Like automatic weapons.”
“This game is for 12 year olds.”
“Yeah and they’ve been sending us letters. They want the hedgehogs to have guns. Our Sonic 2 player base was 12. They’re probably all 17 now.
“…”
“Three kinds of machine guns in the first level. And cars”
“Alright. Reuben?”
“Make him say fuck.”
“What.”
“Or damn. He’s so dark and edgy. Everyone will lose it.”
“Can we do that?”
“We are competing with Call of Duty.”
All of these made it into the game.
