If I were a worm
just keep thinking about things that are larger on the inside than on the outside
An enormous worm from Dune, inside of a normal worm after the rain
If I were a worm, I would be a worm like this
just terrifying
I always have something to write here, if I am writing something to save the Foreverhaven
Today I have nothing to say
I started a journal, pretending I’m all Johnny Truant from House of Leaves, with my lewd allusions to things I do with my buddies named Lude
something like this
I have hopes for tightening up this blog, maybe use another blog for my Foreverhaven posts, but I am not sure
I like this blog enormously. I wouldn’t want it to sit empty.
Sentences I like:
The lads seem to like the gork
The cached elephant*
Need to tap into something like a rant, crush these next 400 words.
*The cached elephant is an image I made up today for a friend.
this image was from that image of, different people, who are blind, touching and describing different parts of an elephant. one holds a leg, one a trunk, one a tail. And some people (like my friend) would have capacities like, “oh there is a tail here, tails don’t exist in isolation, means there is a back further up” -- but other people wouldn’t have a cached imaginary elephant in their mind. they would just be like “i have a leg and can tell you all about the leg if you ask about the leg.” Asking for help can be like this. You are further ahead than people and so cannot talk to anybody about it, but you still might be able to get context from people if you ask just the right thing. But often people assume you know what they know — would not assume either you don’t or that what you see is a cached elephant — you are faking it a little bit, how clearly you see. But they think you both see clearly — that you do see the leg — and that if you see the leg, you wouldn’t at the same time be seeing the tail — nobody has that much seeing — but sometimes people do.
I can’t get the poem from House of Leaves out of my head. But I can’t share the poem because finding the poem in the book was meaningful to me. And so if people discover it on their own, that’s a special poem.
Things from my Courier New Font Jonny Truant journal:
What if in longing there is room for more explosive closeness
maybe in absence is room for imagination
who knows what I’m supposed to be writing when I’m serious about writing.
I think today is the first day I really can’t think or write anything here.
In my first journal entry I wrote about the flies. It is hard, I think, not to notice other living things. Other things that can move and affect the environment at a faster rate than normal.
If I were a worm I would worry about rain a lot.
What else.
just keep thinking about things that are larger on the inside than on the outside
people are, books are
paintings, if they are good. computers. anything with hyperlinks. any animal. Any worm, even worms that are not Dune worms on the inside.