Help Me Figure Out Where I am on the Kinsey Scale!
This may be a terrible experiment.
I do not feel comfortable writing this but I thought it might be funny and I can delete it later.
The other post I had in mind for today was “Bro I am Not Avoidant I have Negative Schizotypy” which would have required a lot more research explaining negative and positive schizotypy, and both feel equally risky to me!
So I took the Kinsey Scale Test the other day, because people around me were talking about it and then wrote a quick post after reading some Sartre, Bisexuals Should Be Existentialists.
The test gave me a 3. I am not sure how I feel about that, because I do not feel like I have enough context on how other people talk about their own position on that scale, and generally what the differences mean in reality, for this to mean too much for me.
Scales like that make sense if fleshed out in actual social context, and so I will attempt to describe some of mine, to see if it inspires comments from people sharing some of their own context!
I think I would be happy to have something-like-a-wife, if I also have a husband. If I only have a husband, that would be ok. If I only have a wife, I would keep searching for a husband. If I have a husband and no wife, I still expect to have very close female friendships. If somebody wants to be my wife, and I want to be her wife, I don’t think I would wait to have a husband “first” in order to make the having a husband part of my identity “more real,” but I would tell her I’d still be on the lookout for a husband. Since most states don’t allow polygamy, this would be complicated, and so I do not expect anybody to want to be my wife under these conditions of future uncertainty! This is unlikely enough that I do not think about legal edge cases. I do not expect most men to let me have something-like-a-wife on these conditions either, though I see it as more likely.
I often do not feel female competition as a default. If somebody is doing female competition dynamics with me, I will grok it and do some stuff probably, but I do not have an innate disposition for female competition.
I do have much more of a radar for female friendship. If somebody wants to be friends with me, usually I keep a lookout for what shape might work for us. This can include a sexy shape. I do not turn women away for not wanting something sexy, and I also do not turn them away if they do.
I tend to have an easier time liking women if they like me, and then I have an easier time even more if they have some degree of sexual disposition towards me.
I am mostly demisexual, unless I do some specific things in which I am being more sexual because somebody I love is into it, or because it is part of a broader context or broader game and I am able to bring a lot of those positive feelings into my feelings about the sex. This means that it can be hard for me to want to have sex with anybody, really, versus doing aura-connection-stuff, and so my default is it do aura-connection stuff versus more overt flirting.
I do not know what the “game to be involved with a lady” signals even are. It is possible I miss a lot of them entirely. Or it is possible that they are pretty overt and I do not miss them. I have no data that I trust from myself on this question.
If I meet a couple, I usually do not do things like get close to the woman, so *that* I could get close to the man. I think I have noticed some women do this with me — where I am with a man they are interested in, and he is with me, and so they are talking to me. It is with too much eagerness often and too fast into a kind of depth, but it is also not sexual towards me. The mismatch in them going fast and deep and me not liking it would often later be revealed that they did have sexual feelings, but they were towards a man and I was the obstacle, and hence the weird feelings. I am not fully sure about this though. If there is a couple I usually get close to the woman to be close to the woman and get close to the man to be close to the man. Usually my interest is not based on gender but is based on how they react to me / if they like me / if they are assholes or not.
Anyway, I don’t know what this is for. I am curious about other people’s experiences, and so I will share!