Day 20 - Nice touches

This one seems obvious to me, but maybe it should be written

You can ask yourself a question, “what have I done that is nice for my partner today.”

There are people who exist for whom the answer is “nothing.”

and there are people who exist for whom the answer is “nothing” for many days on end.

I don’t mean, “having a conversation with them, and so, that is nice, for me, probably is nice for them, too.”

I mean something that is improving their life in some way.

One obvious way and one that can be overlooked, but shouldn’t be, because your partners are the only people who do this generally, are “nice touches.”

You should be giving your partner, who you live with especially, nice touches every day!

Why, you may ask

Well this calms their nervous system and generally speaking makes them more sane.

being touched in nice ways by somebody who loves you feels very nice!

It shouldn’t happen only when you are “inspired” any more than you should change your tires only when you are “inspired” or eat vegetables only when you are “inspired.”

It should happen because it’s very useful and is a great lubricant for your relationship, and you will become a better person through doing it as well.

being touched, haphazardly, by somebody who loves you and says they love you, can feel really bad actually

being touched intentionally by somebody who is practicing noticing you, and noticing your reaction, can feel really special!

it feels so good, that somebody who does not love you, who is a psychopath even, touching you in a way with attention and focus, can make you feel like they love you because it feels so good

now. if you actually love your person

do you not want to do, that thing, that any person can do regardless of if they love your special person, better than you? just because they are paying more attention?

You do not want to be attention-cucked when it comes to the person you are into, in this way.

Types of nice touches:

• massage, massaging the feet

• gentle scratching

• petting the hair

• holding the forehead, like keeping the brain, harmonized

• poking or squeezing, if they are into that

• stroking the hand

• pulling the hair, if they are into that

• petting the belly

• squeezing gently areas near the genitals, without sex

• sex

• things with the fingernails, grazing their arm, grazing their back with just the nails

• writing hearts on their back

• washing them

• washing them with a special loofah

• putting warm oil or lotion on yourself, then touching them

• cutting their hair

• taking their shoes or socks off, if they are into that

• touching their face with your hands gently while looking at them deeply in the eye

• touching them over a soft blanket so they feel the soft blanket squeeze into them

• cuddling in an intentional way, versus a lazy way

• touching their foot with your foot

• touching their nose

• stretching them for exercise