A Weak Indicator of Progress: Fun Things I Never Thought Would Exist
Inventions of the past 20 years
One indicator of world progress (that I admit is a weak indicator) and that I do not actually use as a signal that the world is on a good trajectory is the invention of things that I dreamed about for years that I did not think would ever actually exist.
Every so often, when something from my imaginings comes into existence by the labor and willpower of somebody else, I take special attention to honor it, and notice that something unexpected happened to me.
I use this mostly as a fun self-inventory around noticing even mild surprise that something had been invented that subconsciously I did not think I would ever see.
I will not include links or pictures of products, so that you too can feel the fantasy for at least a few seconds before seeing its actualization!
A toothbrush that brushes all of your teeth at once
You put it on, and it automatically brushes all of your teeth at once.
Guitars that fold in half
They fold in half at the neck, so that you can put them in a back-pack sized sack.
Coffee machines that self-brew based on custom instructions
You put in beans. Each kind of bean comes with a card that you can to give the machine instructions for how to brew that exact kind of coffee bean.
Silent pianos
I don’t mean a keyboard. I mean an actually piano, with an extremely long feather duster inside to stop the hammers from hitting the keys.
An automatic guitar tuner
You put it on each peg of your guitar,
A tiny Tesla coil that dances in rhythm to 8-bit music
You can plug it into your synth and make lighting piano dance in tune to the Mario Bros theme.
Mountain Dew Baja Blast
This drink was exclusive to Taco Bell fountains since 2004. For their 20th anniversary, in 2024 a bottled version became available in stores. Thanks Pepsico!
A real-life Pokédex
There are apps now where you can go around and point your phone at different plants, and the app tells you what plant it is.
A tool that listens to music and tells you what it is
Soundhound and Shazam were once just dreams. You push a button and it tells you what song it is.
Guitar Hero that works with a real guitar
The setup isn’t the easiest in the world but it’s pretty easy.
Erasing the background for an image
This was pretty easy, but you needed Illustrator and Photoshop and you needed to know which tools inside which one to use for what kind of graphic, and in what order. If you had a workflow going you could do quite a few in half an hour, but it was tedious. I did not imagine that I would be able to remove backgrounds cleanly for most images with just one button.
Expanding an image
It used to be annoying if you had the perfect image for something, but it was not the right dimension (For example, too short for a Twitter Banner). You would have to give it a plain black background, or try to expand it somehow manually in a way that made sense. Now, clicking the button “image expand” to fill it in for the right dimensions is very exciting.
Word Processing without Microsoft Word
Microsoft Word was the standard for word processing. Now if something about Word bothers you, you can do work in Google Docs or in many other apps.
Plan B for less than $50
Plan B used to be kind of expensive, $40 - $60 at the Walgreens or CVS. You can get a version of Plan B for $10 on Amazon now and keep it around in case you need it. (Plan B does not terminate a pregnancy)
A powerful, cordless vacuum cleaner
Before you had to compromise between a vacuum cleaner that you used for actual real cleaning, and a cordless, lightweight vacuum you pull out to casually dance around with. Now there are vacuums that are strong, lightweight, and cordless.
An exercise pole that works on slanted ceilings
Usually you would need a straight ceiling. Now they have developed ceiling mounts that work for ceilings with a sharp angle.
One of my sophomore year roommates was obsessed with Mountain Dew. He also had recently arrived in the USA from India.
Upon discovering that there was an elusive Mountain Dew flavor only available at a restaurant he had never tried, he roped me and three other roommates into making a pilgrimage with him.
Since we didn't have a car, the trip was a multi hour ordeal by public transit. We finally got to the nearest bus stop, then discovered it was another mile long walk along a divided highway to a pedestrian overpass and into the promised Taco Bell. Alas, the five of us, all engineering and computer science students, played a ridiculous game of frogger with traffic instead.
We celebrated with 32oz tankards of corn syrup and all the soft tacos our meager cash could buy.